I suppose this is my version of “How it started. How it’s going.”
Today it’s been three years since you took your last breath. Three years and I am still left with the desire to retreat to the life we shared together. But like returning to a town reduced to rubble in the aftermath of war, that world doesn’t exist anymore; there’s nothing to go back to. I reach out for you, hoping to meet you somewhere only I would know to go, to find you dancing in the stars…but I can’t get to you. Love should be able to take me to you, but it doesn’t.
It was real wasn’t it? You were here. We were us. I was still the me that existed in your eyes…adored and loved beyond measure. She is gone and someone new is emerging.The pendulum swings back and forth, pushing me to move forward, then pulling me back.
So where does this leave us now my love? I hold onto faith that we continue to exist between here and there, where time can’t hold us hostage. One blink, and we’ll be us again forever. But I promise to live until then, to laugh with our son, to experience new people and places, to have new adventures. I know you expect that of me, so I promise to do my very best not to disappoint you.
I continue to love you without end JoJo. I always will.
